What have my friends become?

Well finals are coming around and it's getting to that nervous time when everyone asks me for help with their classes. Of course I thoroughly enjoy the looks of confusion on my peers' faces when they don't understand simple ideas such a Restriction Fragment Length Polymorphism. Haha, poor kids. Unfortunately it is such a busy time that I have lost track of some of my friends. Gosh I've heard horrible things ranging from "relations" with 5 pi kapps over spring break to the development of a dear friends first drinks to full blown alcoholism. But through all of these awful occurrences the worst by far is my dear best friend has been using a mac. While this may not appear tragic, it is. This is a man who once stood in front of a pc with a webcam and uploaded a video swearing allegiance to the pc. His exact words, and I quote are, "I'm a pc and I am The Wing Expert!" Now that he is using a mac, I have begun to doubt other qualities of him. Perhaps he is NOT The Wing Expert...